As a chiropractor, I listen carefully to the words people use.
“My sciatica is horrible today.”
“I’m so stressed out.”
“I can’t ever get rid of my headaches.”
“There’s nothing I can do about it.”
“I’m anxious all the time.”
“My low back is killing me.”
“This is never going to get better.”
“I’m always exhausted.”
“My mom / dad / grandma had headaches too, so I guess it’s hereditary.”
“I have terrible posture.”
“I’ve been living with this my whole life.”
“My fibromyalgia flares up every time the weather changes.”
“I’ve been constipated since I was a kid.”
“If I weren’t so fat, my back probably wouldn’t hurt.”
“My anxiety is so much worse since Covid.”
Some people are apologetic: “My neck really hurts, and I can’t get comfortable when I sleep - but I don’t want to complain about it.”
And others have consulted Dr. Google, their relatives, friends, colleagues, and neighbors: “I’m pretty sure it’s a herniated disc. I looked on the internet and the symptoms are exactly the same. My neighbor had a herniated disc and had to have surgery, because the pain got so bad. And my aunt had a numb foot for years because of her herniated disc. I don’t think it’s ever going to get better.”
Hear me clearly on this: I will NEVER minimize someone’s pain or suffering, whether it’s physical, mental or emotional. I’m not in your head or your body and I can’t know what you’re going through.
But just like the long-term effects of chronic pain, chronic depression or long-term anxiety - the words we use about ourselves and TO ourselves can have long-lasting repercussions.
If any of the phrases above - or any similar variations of those - are playing in your head on repeat, all day, every day, you WILL slow down or block your healing process.
Do a little math: how old will you be in ten years? Are you going to be saying those same words and phrases and living the same life, ten years from now?
Pain is a funny and mysterious creature. It’s a powerful reminder that something is wrong so you can take action. Pain is not “all in your head.” But it can show up in strange places in your mind and be intensified with the words you use.
Are you willing to try a one-week experiment? For one week, I’d like you to change your words.
What words do you use to describe your life, your pain, your symptoms?
Endless
Killing me
Always
Never
Excruciating
Horrible
Intense
Awful
F***ed up
Constant
Relentless
Deep
Hereditary
Blinding
Stabbing
For the next week, I WANT YOU TO LIE.
I want you to lie to your brain, and keep lying to your brain, even if your body is hurting. No matter how bad you feel, I want you to keep lying. All day long, all evening, and even in the night if you can’t get comfortable. I want you to lie about everything.
Use words and phrases that minimize your pain or completely discredit it. Say these as often as possible, aloud or in your head, all day long. Put these words and phrases on sticky notes where you can see them. Immerse yourself in this vocabulary for a whole week, EVEN IF IT SEEMS DUMB. Just keep doing it.
Better than I’ve felt in years!
Improving
I haven't felt this good in years
I can deal with this
I’ve had worse
Way better than yesterday
Barely noticeable
I haven’t even thought about at all today
Miraculously better!
I’m able to ignore it for hours on end
Good thing I’m not my mom / dad / grandma / (whatever relative had the same thing!)
I feel GREAT!
Ready to go dancing!
Why do I want you to lie to your brain? Because your imagination is powerful, and your emotional brain is far more powerful than your “logical” brain. Trust me on this one, and play along for a week. At the end of the week, you can go back to your “old” words. But see how you feel and what you notice at the end of the week. And please let me know what you’ve experienced!
If you’re interested in learning more about your mind-and-body connection, please click here to get on the waitlist for Embodied, my upcoming course about “Searching for a way to tap into the hidden strengths that all humans have.” (Oh, wait, that’s the intro narration for the Incredible Hulk.) Embodied is all about the power of your brain, nervous system and body to control your anxiety, stress and overwhelming emotions.
In Part 2 of this blog, I’m going to address the mental & emotional consequences of your words. Do you have ADHD? Are you depressed? Anxious? Overweight? Addicted? If your words define you, what are you saying out loud or in your head about yourself? Next week’s blog is all about mental and emotional health.
Angela Hall
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